Mitt and Rumors of Mitt

By Ray Starmann

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Will Mr. Romney pick up the white phone in the club grill room, Mr. Romney to the white phone please?…

Mitt Romney has been in the news lately, stepping out of the shadows in the Berkshires to undoubtedly serve the GOP Establishment, which can basically be encapsulated into Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche from Trading Places.

I can hear the phone call last week…

“We need help Mitt. This nouveau riche upstart Trump, he’s going to destroy everything.” Everything meaning, the Establishment’s soaking of the American people for the last 20 years.

“Put on a Brooks Brothers shirt, get yourself on Fox News, start talking about Trump’s taxes and then call us back.”

“But, Anne was just making a spinach soufflé”…

“Move it Romney!”

Romney stepped back into the quicksand last week when he told Neil Cavuto that he questioned Trump’s reluctance to release his taxes, even though Romney didn’t release his own taxes until September of 2012.

So, what’s the plan?

At first, Romney will be used as a verbal hit man, to zero in on any perceived Trump weakness of the week and fire a salvo in Trump’s direction. Romney is set to make a speech tomorrow from Utah. No doubt Mitt will attack Trump on things such as his reluctance to disavow David Duke and the KKK, even though Trump did a couple thousand times. No doubt he’ll charge Trump of running a scam at Trump Real Estate University, which wasn’t a scam, just whining by some zero who didn’t know an easement from a foreclosure and then decided to sue Trump. Finally, Mitt will accuse Trump of finding his wife, Melania on AnastasiaDate.com.

Unfortunately for Mitt, Trump will open up on him with the shock and awe of the pre D-Day bombardment. Mitt thinks he’s seen it all. After all, Mitt served in France during the Vietnam War, tutoring the four Mormons in the country. That was some tough duty.

He ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

In two weeks, Romney will be on board to come in like a 3rd Inning reliever to replace Marco Rubio who is going to be fed to the alligators by his own Floridians on March 15th.

Romney will last one inning before Trump yells batter up and hits a grand slam over the Green Monster in Romney’s home state.

In the words of Vince Lombardi in reference to Romney, “Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser.”

What’s in all this for Romney? Is he just being loyal to the RNC? Is he an egomaniac? Does the GOP Establishment have him convinced he’s going to be the comeback kid with Marie Osmond as his running mate?

Or, does the Establishment have some dirty laundry on Mittens?

The question is… after Romney is run over by Trump, who’s Plan D; Bob Dole, or Norm MacDonald playing Bob Dole?

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