By Ray Starmann
Yesterday’s South Carolina Primary and Nevada Caucus gave us much of what we expected and a few surprises.
Trump – He came, he saw, he kicked some butt…again! As Trump won South Carolina, his supporters anxiously awaited his appearance by chanting USA!, USA!, USA!. It sounded like the stadium in Lake Placid cheering on the US hockey team in 1980. And, that is the magic of Trump. Trump is the All-American problem solver. People don’t care if he hasn’t been in politics his whole life. People don’t care if he’s not a policy wonk. People are jobless, hurting, suffering and want solutions. People are sick and tired of the USA being kicked around by two bit thugs from ISIS or Iran. Trump’s supporters come from every class in society. He is the Blue Collar Billionaire.
The GOP Establishment just doesn’t get it. They’re scratching their heads this morning wondering once again how the real estate mogul with the gold plated toilets in his penthouse and the Slovenian bombshell wife can beat a good, honest fellow like ole Jeb. Right now, there is some secret RNC meeting being held in a country club grill room. As the basket of crackers is being passed around, they’re trying to figure out who they can wheel out that can beat that big mouthed clown from Manhattan, who is about to blaze a trail of destruction in the Confederacy, not seen since that son of a gun Sherman and his army of blue bellies arrived in Georgia.
Hillary – The shrieking, delusional, horrid Ma Barker Clinton rode roughshod over Bernie yesterday in Nevada. As she hit the stage last night wearing another of her Chairman Mao suit coats, she had an absolute glare of evil on her face. She knows Comrade Sanders and his fellow Bolsheviks are on the run. If Bernie doesn’t do well on Super Tuesday, his 2016 Marxist Insurrection will be a mere ink blot in the history books. Ma Barker Clinton knows that her biggest impediment to victory is not the crabby guy yelling about his corned beef sandwich in a Brooklyn deli, but an organization more dangerous to her than a grass roots socialist movement. That organization is the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
People Who Act Like They Won:
Rubio – Rubio has gone from zero in New Hampshire to hero in South Carolina in a couple weeks. He’s doing well for a young guy with a one term Senate record. He hit the stage last night, pumped up like an eight ounce can of pressurized Red Bull. Someone forgot to tell Rubio that he didn’t win, but came in second to the Trumpster. Rubio has a lot of energy, but I wonder if he’s just a legend in his own mind. With the implosion of Jeb, the RNC is pushing his smoldering golf cart off the primary trail and must now rally around someone else. Will it be Rubio?
Cruz – The night was a disappointment for Cruz, who barely lost to Rubio last night in a 22.5% to 22.3% margin. Cruz should have done better in South Carolina with its evangelical population and military retirees. Are people beginning to wonder if he really is a liar as Trump says? Are people beginning to wonder if Cruz is just unelectable in an election against Madam Secretary? Cruz may be much ado about nothing. Nevertheless, Cruz came out swinging and like Rubio, was acting as if he had carved out a victory in the Palmetto State.
Remember, everyone gets a trophy!
Kasich – Sugar and Spice Kasich landed in fifth place last night behind El Jebo, but is acting today like he just secured a huge victory. Kasich’s battle plan has been to preach love and peace and harmony while the rest of the GOP gladiators do battle around him. Kasich can’t win, but he can put himself into position to be a possible VP candidate who can deliver several swing states to the Republicans. Kasich will probably loiter in the race through March to see how he can do in Michigan, Illinois and Ohio. Kasich is someone to watch, not as the nominee, but the man standing next to the nominee at the convention.
The night’s losers:
Jeb! – Jeb bid a fond farewell last night to his supporters, the voters who rejected him and his fellow candidates, particularly, Donald Trump who used him as a punching bag. Jeb is a smart, competent, decent guy who would have made a great president in another time. Americans aren’t looking for the guy who knows every sand trap and fast green at Augusta National this year. Americans are looking for someone who will cut the B.S. and get something done! Hence, the arrival of the Terminator, Donald Trump. Jeb actually looked relieved last night. He never wanted the job anyway. He was the kid who was playing football at Notre Dame, even though he hated it, because every male in his family had for 100 years. Adios, Jeb.
Carson – Dr. Cool is vowing to stay in the race no matter what. I’m not sure what the motivation is now for him. He can’t win and his continual primary destruction will only tarnish his name and reputation. Perhaps he enjoys the limelight and hanging out with the Carson groupies and smoking some free weed. (Once again, I have no proof Dr. Carson smokes pot, but how can someone be that mellow all day long?)
Bernie – Comrade Bernie is feeling his own Bern right now after losing and apparently losing honestly to Hillary Rotten Clinton last night. Sanders’ campaign is in real danger of being destroyed in the next month if Hillary manages to secure overwhelming victories on Super Tuesday and in the primaries through March. We will see how many socialists come out of the woodwork to vote for him in the coming weeks. His campaign is in danger of becoming a strange footnote in American history.
Beware the Ides of March Bernie!