Do you know the way to Moscow? – The Bernie Sanders Phenomenon

By Ray Starmann

Do you know the way to San Jose
I’ve been away so long
I may go wrong and lose my way
Do you know the way to San Jose
I’m going back to find some peace of mind in San Jose

When I think of the Bernie Sanders campaign, I can’t help changing the lyrics to the old 1968 Dionne Warwick hit. Instead of asking directions to San Jose, California, Sanders’s supporters should be asking for directions to Moscow.

An article this week in the Christian Science Monitor reported that the Sanders campaign raised more than $33 million in the last fundraising cycle, $4 million shy of Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton’s total purse.

How is it possible that a socialist could raise that much money in a US Presidential election campaign? Does it speak volumes about Hillary’s vulnerability, or something more troubling in the body politic?

What can possibly be the appeal of a socialist in the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Is it because a certain percentage of Americans now are neither brave nor do they believe in freedom anymore? Or, is their idea of freedom, what some of Sanders red handlers might call history?

Sanders’ platform is part Swedish socialist, part 1960’s radical, part run of the mill liberal fool, part People’s Republic of Vermont. In all fairness, Bernard is very good at identifying the nation’s problems. He has that crazy uncle at the Thanksgiving table aura about him. You listen to his ideas and swallow some sweet potato, then banish him to the kids’ table, where he can lecture ten year olds about raising the minimum wage to 50 bucks an hour.

Sanders wants to enact a tax on Wall Street speculators. Like all socialists, he has no grasp of market liquidity or price discovery, something that would vanish if enough so called speculators were taxed to death.

Comrade Sanders also wants free tuition for all college students, because no American should be denied a college degree. Doesn’t he understand that no Americans, except those that aren’t bright enough, are being denied federal funding for college? Of course he wants to spend money on the tuition and throw away the key to the dollar printing press into the Potomac.

Who picks up the tab for that one?

And, what would a socialist platform be without universal health care?

Sanders also calls for “requiring employers to provide at least 12 weeks of paid family and medical leave; two weeks of paid vacation; and 7 days of paid sick days. Real family values are about making sure that parents have the time they need to bond with their babies and take care of their children and relatives when they get ill.”

Sounds a lot like Sweden to me. If I want to live the Swedish lifestyle, I’ll buy a couple cheap bookcases at Ikea, stuff myself with some dollar meatballs on the way out the door and get back to America before I can say Sven.

And, he also wants to “enact a universal childcare and prekindergarten program.” The pinko speak continues with this Melissa Harris-Perry big government garbage. “Every psychologist understands that the most formative years for a human being is from the ages 0-3. We have got to make sure every family in America has the opportunity to send their kids to a high quality childcare and pre-K program.”

There’s a solution, government mandated education!

Of course Sanders is onboard the Climate Change express with Obama. Guys, I hate to tell you but ISIS is a bigger threat to our national security than rainfall amounts in Patagonia.

Bernard’s immigration policies could only be called Save the Children. Everything is about saving the world. How about saving our economy by giving Americans, Hispanic Americans and legal Hispanic residents, jobs before hiring a stampede of illegals?

If Bernie’s immigration policies are referred to as Save the Children, his national security ideology can only be titled, For the Kids. In classic 60’s radical parlance, Sanders talks about not sending our kids into harm’s way. His criteria for actually committing US forces is so strict that it would probably take a Chinese invasion to mobilize him into action and that might not be enough.

In perhaps the most rambling of all his beliefs, Sanders supports the Iran Deal because he’s against war, and he’s upset with vets’ suicide rates and PTSD incidents. While the suicide and PTSD issues are serious, what do they have to do with the Iran Deal?

Sanders seems to draw people from two spheres; the young millennial snowflakers and the freeze dried hippies from the 60’s, the latter looking for their last revolution before they take a final hit of LSD and wander off into Strawberry Fields Forever.

The snowflakers love Comrade Sanders because he promises to be their surrogate and ubiquitous helicopter parent, offering them safe spaces with government mandated free Play-Doh, Bubble Guppy episodes and lo and behold, free tuition.

If Hillary is actually indicted (you have a better chance of winning the Power Ball) and Sanders is actually the nominee. Here are some possible running mates for the good Tovarich Bernie:

Erich Mielke, the former head of the East German secret police, the Stasi…

Rosa Klebb (the knife-toed assassin for Smersh (Smiert Spionam – Death to Spies) who tried to kill James Bond in From Russia with Love…

Mizzz Gladys Cranapple-Sanchez, public school administrator, aka socialist at large…

And last, but not least, the Cuban Airborne Brigade commander in Red Dawn.

I’d love to see Sanders get the nomination and have him face off against the man with the orange Daniel Boone hairdo or Count Chocula Cruz.

It’s going to be an interesting election year indeed.


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