An Army Marches on its Lactation

By Ray Starmann

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Today, my former boss, a retired Army Intelligence officer sent me a copy of a memorandum for record concerning the US Army’s most recent lactation and breastfeeding policies, signed by the new Secretary of the Army, Eric K. Fanning and dated November 10, 2015.

My first reaction was to pop a couple Tums even before starting to read it. As I scanned the document, I realized how far the Army has fallen on its sword. The sword of feminism, the sword of lunacy has completely eviscerated the lean green machine, so that it is the US Army in name only now.

The magnificent fighting force that was born at Lexington and Concord in 1775; the spectacular fighting force that stormed the gates of Chapultepec, that found itself divided and fought each other at Gettysburg, only to be reborn as brothers again on San Juan Hill; the phenomenal US Army that threw back the Hun in 1918, and saved the world in 1945; the incredibly brave force that fought in Korea, and never lost a major battle in Vietnam; the professionals who restored a nation’s pride in 1991 and who gave all that mortality can give from 2001 until now is dying.

The US Army is fading out like an elephant on its last breaths, a mastodon being consumed by hordes of politically correct and feminist ants, who seek to devour it from the inside out and outside in.

The US Army has but one mission, that mission is to fight and win our nation’s wars. In the past, the US Army won wars for a myriad of reasons, but there were several tenets that were a common thread throughout our history. The Army had dedicated professionals, men who weren’t hesitant to do what needed to be done to destroy the enemy violently and quickly, rough and ready men who always accomplished the mission; soldiers who “drained deep the chalice of courage.”

The US Army of 2016 has been feminized. It has been turned upside down to accommodate the policies of extremists who have never served a day in uniform and never will.

The mission of the US Army is not to be a repository for left wing, feminist policies that seek to weaken the force, in order to push absurd mandates that have nothing to do with fighting and winning wars.

The US Army is so caught up in trying to placate the whims and fancies of feminists and left wing nuts, that the mission of the Army is now second place. The old Army adage, “the mission first, then the men” has been replaced with “social engineering, gender neutrals and feminists first and somewhere after that the mission, if we can still accomplish it.”

In my life, I never thought it would get this bad in the Army that lactation and breastfeeding memos were being sent to Special Operations Command, but have no doubt the Boys at Bragg got the memo too. Whether Delta Force and the Green Berets are lactating is unknown at the current time.

Here are some highlights from the memo:

“Commanders are responsible for notifying all soldiers of this breastfeeding and lactation support policy during initial pregnancy counseling.”

There’s nothing to enhance the combat power of a unit more than a platoon of pregnant soldiers.

“Soldiers who want to breastfeed upon return to duty will notify their chain of command as soon as possible. This notification allows commanders to determine how to best support the soldier and ensure a workplace with appropriate space for expressing milk.”

“Commanders will designate a private space, other than a restroom, with locking capabilities for a soldier to breastfeed or express milk. This space must include a place to sit, a flat surface (other than the floor) to place the pump on, an electrical outlet, and access to a safe water source within reasonable distance from the lactation space.”

Roger that sir! The lactation station will be next to the M1 range when we go to Graf. We’ve stripped an old M113 and refitted it with everything a young mother would want in a child’s nursery.

The 113 will also be able to snorkel should the mother in question need to breastfeed during a river crossing operation.

You know our motto sir… First to Lactate!

Good job, Major, put yourself in for a Pink Star. It’s a new medal the Pentagon has approved to replace the Silver Star, which was thought to be too representative of the old male military culture.

“Commanders will ensure that soldiers have adequate time to express milk but must be aware that each soldier’s situation is unique. The time required to express breast milk varies and depends on several factors, including the age of the infant, amount of milk produced, quality of the pump, and distance the pumping location is from the workplace, as well as how conveniently located the water source is from the pump location. For example, new mothers commonly express milk every 2 to 3 hours for 15 to 30 minutes, but this timeframe may change as the child ages. When a child is 6 months old and begins eating solid foods, the number of breaks a soldier needs to breastfeed or express milk may decrease. Lactation support personnel at military treatment facilities or through TRICARE are available to help soldiers develop individualized plans. Commanders will provide reasonable lactation breaks for soldiers for at least 1 year after the child’s birth.”

Colonel, why haven’t you started the attack?

Sir, we still have several soldiers breastfeeding. You know it’s a court martial offense to initiate combat operations while soldiers are breastfeeding. It’s too bad because we have a perfect opportunity to exploit the enemy now.

Damn Army regs. Lactation comes first. You know what the corps commander said last week, “There’s no substitute for lactation.”

“Soldiers must supply the equipment needed to pump and store their breast milk. TRICARE covers the purchase of the breast pump. Soldiers who are breastfeeding or expressing milk remain eligible for field training, mobility exercises, and deployment (after completing their postpartum deployment deferment period). During field training and mobility exercises, commanders will provide private space for Soldiers to express milk. If the Soldier (or designated personnel) cannot transport expressed milk to garrison, the Soldier’s commander will permit her the same time and space to express and discard her breast milk with the intent to maintain physiological capability for lactation. Commanders should work with the supporting medical officer to determine whether milk storage and/or transportation will be feasible during the exercise.”

Think about the words of this last bit of craziness. Breastfeeding and deployment used in the same sentence. Field exercises and breastfeeding are now mutually compatible; breast milk in the field.

Hey, Sarge, what’s in that Mermite? Oh, just some breast milk.

As I said before, the US Army has gone completely off its rocker.

The US Army is now longer a cohesive fighting force. The US Army is now a nursery in camouflage.

Of course the bad guys that we’ll be fighting one day; the Iranians, the Russians, the Chinese, ISIS all fight wars with men, the old fashioned way. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that our Army of lactation and breast-feeding policies is set to be handed a defeat that is going to be Biblical.

Napoleon once said that an army marches on its stomach.

In the surreal world of 2016, the US Army now marches on its lactation.

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