By Ray Starmann
There’s an old military maxim, which says, “Assumptions are the mother of all —-ups.” That ancient adage, along with commons sense and moral courage has been tossed straight into a Pentagon dumpster.
Here are some assumptions that are wafting through the corridors of the Pentagon like a dense fog.
“Two bombs a day keeps ISIS away” – Operation Inherent Resolve, the US led air campaign against ISIS has been going for over a year now and has been nothing but a dismal failure and a joke. No matter what the Pentagon says, two bombs a day, doesn’t keep ISIS away.
“50 Special Forces guys can retake Syria” – No doubt our Special Operations boys are top notch, but 50 guys isn’t going to put out the ISIS wildfire. Sadly, some of these brave troopers will be sacrificed on the altar of Obama’s incompetence and the Pentagon’s go along, get along mood. Life is not a movie folks. Plus, Richard Crenna is dead and Stallone, Chuck Norris, Rutger Hauer and Arnold all have AARP cards.
“China is scared to death of our one ship!” – You can just smell the fear in the air in the Chinese military as one, count ‘em, one US warship traverses the South China Sea. With Captain Stubing, Isaac, Gopher and Julie on board how can we ever lose! Be prepared for a Chinese response in tenfold.
“Guys who wear dresses make great soldiers.” – From the nation that hero worships a guy named Caitlyn, comes an army that lets trans-genders serve in its ranks. Picture a whole battalion of men in Vera Wang wedding dresses charging an enemy position. In the new Army, Private Bob can be Private Barbara the next day and vice versa. Talk about the fog of war.
“Mommies can be Rangers too!” – The Kool Aid salesmen down at Benning want us all to believe that a 37 year old woman and mother of two can hack it at a school that spits out 20 year old men with the speed of a hotel power flush.
“Blimps are the wave of the future” – A World War One aerial platform stuffed with $235 million of technology that a kid with a BB gun can shoot down. What could possibly go wrong there?
“Lactation support and readiness can be balanced” – In a recent memorandum for record from His Majesty, Secretary of the Army, John McHugh, commanders are advised to “balance lactation support and readiness.” Keep shaking your head, I am.
“Cultural Marxists are now experts at warfare” – Forget about military service schools and generals. Want to know who really is calling the shots in the Pentagon? Look no further than Valerie Jarrett and a motley assortment of left-wingers who despise men, the military and the macho culture, but not necessarily in that order.
“Pentagon briefings tell the truth” – The Pentagon has become so adept at cranking out ludicrous Power Point briefings, that they’re starting to believe their own knee-deep lies. Turn off the smoke machine people. Reality is that a way, past the hall of mirrors.
“Combat in Iraq is really non-combat” – Don’t worry about those bullets being fired at you Delta Force, you were never actually in combat, according to Ash Carter and Josh Earnest. The problem is that Carter and Earnest were never in combat and never will be.
“Diversity, creative thinking and technology win wars” – Secretary of the Navy, Ray Mabus, believes that any disadvantages of having women in the combat arms of the Marines and Navy can be substituted by diversity of thought, creative thinking and some cool technology. So, basically a room full of female screenwriters with I Phones equals combat effectiveness.
“Men and women can bond together in the combat arms” – Oh, they’ll be bonding alright, but it won’t be like an episode of “Band of Brothers.” The porn industry is considering a move from the San Fernando Valley to Fort Hood.
“We don’t need no stinkin’ air support” – Goodbye, cheap and old reliable A-10, hello over-priced, under-performing F-35.
“Whistleblowers are free to speak out” – Of course they are; that’s why the Ranger School instructors who told the truth to journalist Susan Keating are still in the shadows. The Obama administration has never gone after whistleblowers.
“This is the best Army we’ve ever had!” – Uh…better than the Army of Northern Virginia? Better than the WWII Army? Better than the Desert Storm Army? Beset with readiness issues, equipment shortages, budget cuts, morale and social issues and worthless senior leaders, things never looked bleaker.
“Women will love signing up for the draft” – Once Secretary of Defense Ash Carter authorizes women to serve in the combat arms and special operations, it’s almost a given that women, ages 18 – 26, will have to register with the Selective Service. Do you hear that Miley Cyrus?
“The Great Social Experiment Army really will work!” – We will make it work even if it can’t work. Nevertheless, it will work, because we can pretend it’s working, even though it’s not, but people will think it’s working, except for everyone who knows it’s not working.
Don’t worry America, the Great Pumpkin will soon be arriving at the Pentagon to right all wrongs…